Hmm. Okay. [ He resettles himself, posture straightening a little. ] Your question first. I am trying to make it easy, because why wouldn't I? Why would I want it to be hard? For you or for me? I do not see the point in feeling bad about how things are, because it doesn't do anything. I do not want to be angry, or sad, or afraid, or anything like that. So the fact that it is happening anyway because of these dreams is actually kind of annoying.
[ And only because of the dreams and nothing else, right. ]
But also, what you were saying. Uncertainty being difficult, and how it might have been better if I had closure, or let myself. Maybe! That might be true. I have heard it. 'I'm sorry for your loss.' 'This isn't healthy, Emmet.' 'Are you okay? How are you holding up?' 'It might be time to accept that he's gone.' A few days, weeks, months, years— time to move on! I am Emmet and I have heard it all and I understand—
[ Red fur ripples, counting out the seconds in time with his words. ]
I got tired of it. Tired of worrying people, tired of them acting like I was made of glass. So I reassured them. I am Emmet, I am a Subway Boss. Operating at 100% capacity. No need to worry.
But I wanted to hold space for you so I did. The feelings that come with that, they're on me. I wanted to and I chose to. That's what I meant earlier.
no subject
[ And only because of the dreams and nothing else, right. ]
But also, what you were saying. Uncertainty being difficult, and how it might have been better if I had closure, or let myself. Maybe! That might be true. I have heard it. 'I'm sorry for your loss.' 'This isn't healthy, Emmet.' 'Are you okay? How are you holding up?' 'It might be time to accept that he's gone.' A few days, weeks, months, years— time to move on! I am Emmet and I have heard it all and I understand—
[ Red fur ripples, counting out the seconds in time with his words. ]
I got tired of it. Tired of worrying people, tired of them acting like I was made of glass. So I reassured them. I am Emmet, I am a Subway Boss. Operating at 100% capacity. No need to worry.
But I wanted to hold space for you so I did. The feelings that come with that, they're on me. I wanted to and I chose to. That's what I meant earlier.