It was not. That is true. But that is on me. Not you.

[ Maybe in some ways, it's easier to try to look for ways they could have done things different. That way, it makes it seem less like it was all up to chance— that these things just happen, outside of anyone's control. ]

I am doing something wrong if you are trying to take responsibility for something like that. We were, are a two car train. But what I do, what I say, that is mine. Not your fault.