november catchall

[offtracks]

Who: Ingo & OPEN
What: catchall for November
Where: around the Bay
When: throughout November
Warnings: discussion of food-related anxiety / past food insecurity

Comments

[outbounds]

Okay...

[ All right, that's probably a valid concern ... Ingo would know and Emmet wouldn't, here. Which means Emmet should also pitch in when they get back, right?

But also. ]

That cannot be all that has been bothering you, though.

[offtracks]

I would not say that it is bothering me! Merely something to be mindful of!

[ Very mindful, granted. But it's winter! It happens every year! ]

[outbounds]

Right. But something that is 'merely' something to be mindful of. I do not think it would have distracted you this much.

[ Therefore: ]

So there is something else still.

[offtracks]

No, no, not at all! I am sorry if I have been quiet!

[ Clearly he needs to get over himself! Move on! All of that! ]

[outbounds]

It ... isn't something you need to be sorry about?

[ But all right. He'll just come right out with it; he's never been good with gentle or subtle. ]

... Ingo. I will be clear. You have been distant since the festival ended. I do not think the timing is a coincidence.

So ... what is wrong?

[offtracks]

Nothing is wrong!

[ How could anything be wrong? Everything that happened that night was entirely correct. Ingo did the right thing by leaving; Emmet did the right thing by spending that precious time with his brother. He has no business being bothered about any of it!

Even if he did, it'd be unbearably petty. The other Ingo is gone now. He doesn't want to admit something so mean-spirited to Emmet. He doesn't want to fight either, so he aims for conciliatory: ]

I apologize, Emmet. I will try and do better.

[outbounds]

Why are you apologizing? You have done nothing wrong. You are not being judged. It is not about having to do better.

[ Is. Is Ingo worried about not getting a good grade in brotherhood, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve? ]

I am just worried. Even minor misalignments may lead to bigger trouble further down the line. ... is it something you think you cannot tell me?

[offtracks]

It has clearly upset you! Of course I will try to fix it!

[ He's not even sure how to address the other question. Admitting that much is basically the same as just spilling his guts about how awful he is outright! So he is ignoring it to focus on the other bit! ]

[outbounds]

Acting like nothing is wrong is not fixing it.

[ He'd know! ]

It is also— not about me. Should not be. Mmm. It does not sound to me like you are conducting proper maintenance on yourself. But I do not want for the only reason that you would do that to be because of me...?

[ He is not sure that he said that right, but... sure, he's worried, but it shouldn't matter whether he's upset or not— he would like for Ingo to think to take care of himself for himself? Like, what if something happened to Emmet? ]

[offtracks]

[ Ingo cocks his head slightly. He feels like he's been taking care of himself reasonably well, in spite of everything? Feeling sorry for himself does not keep him from doing that. ]

I suppose I have not been sleeping as well as I might, but I am sure that will settle itself in time!