bottlecaplogs | Catrina's Over the Top and Rancid April and May Catchall

There are a lot of ways, Emporio has thought, that this could have been worse. One is that they could have been dropped directly into the ocean. He's not sure how that could have happened, but considering they have no idea where they are? He's pretty sure it was at least a possibility, and he's glad they didn't land there! Once was enough!

The other thing was, well. Kaiba, of all things. Sure, he very clearly wasn't happy about any of this but... ...Well, he was also more than three times their size.

Which meant the type disadvantage he and Catrina had suddenly wasn't going to be as big a deal, even if the dragon was going to hate every minute of it.

Still.

That's a very small pile of 'pros' to the mounting pile of 'cons', including what has Catrina screaming again.

"I don't think chewing it is going to make things any better Catrina," he says after another outburst, sighing. Figures that Grumpearls have cell service issues. "...We should really focus on finding some place we can use as shelter while we get our bearings."

There's no visibly recognizable landmarks. The best shot they might have is if the sky clears enough by nightfall to see the stars, and that's really hit or miss. Beyond that, staying in place is plainly out of the question which only leaves moving in one precise direction for however long it takes for the situation to change.

It's not looking great!

Kaiba's certain this is his own personal Hell. He's stuck in a Hell of his own creation with a candle and a tiny dinosaur that are clearly in over their heads. That was why he had insisted, especially after seeing how Emporio had ended up after the last big quest he'd gone on.

He wouldn't have felt right leaving the kid without protection. And somehow, this chaos candle had ended up in the mix, because she was also small, if a bit aggravating. He had no idea what her age was, but she probably needed protection from herself, given how she was currently gnawing on her Grumpearl.

"Quit being ridiculous!" he snaps at her, though he resists the urge to let his tail lash about in irritation, because the marsh won't be any good for a candle and a dirt dinosaur.

Emporio's right, Kaiba won't like this part. But he will do what's necessary, or else why the hell did he come this far anyway? Things go wrong all the time in this stupid place, why not be teleported to a wetland instead of their goal?

Polteageist might have a high opinion of themselves, but Kaiba certainly does not after this mess. If you're going to show off something the guild's had a hand in, then at least make sure it works! This is not a good reflection on any of them, damn it!

"Clearly we need to get moving," he adds, a gruff agreement with Emporio. "But neither of you are properly equipped for this."

So again, as much as he hates it, he stoops low on all fours.

"Get on before I change my mind. And if either of you behave poorly, then you can put up with the water."

That...was more for Catrina than it was for Emporio. No less a threat though.

Now Catrina was a candle of very little thought about consequences, however, with the situation as it was and the fact Cat was indeed a very small candle, that threat hit pretty close.

Congrats Kaiba! You got the wretched candle's full attention as she looks up at you with those little orb eyes...it's like if someone decided marbles were a good idea for eyes..

"Fine, but I call first dibs on the head."

Well...that was the best possible route for a rancid candle in being agreeable. She goes to put the pearl away (where...who really knows...Pokemon be weird sometimes..) and goes to climb up the sparkling dragon for a ride, preferably on top of his head.

Damn, this sure was a swamp alright, good thing Catrina was raised in one. Sure, this is like a temperate swamp rather than a tropical swamp, but the geography should be similar or at the very least close enough.

"Well shit, this is like home then. Sure it's not a tropical swamp, but it should be close enough to navigate in. Wonder if there's eels to fish here to eat?"

....Catrina being helpful and recommending something that actually is food? This is either a very VERY bad omen or one of the better omens to get...there's a strong chance it's the former though, especially with Catrina involved.

"Uhhh...Should we maybe- oh- Uh."

Well, there goes Catrina. Emporio sighs, shrugs, and then carefully climbs up Kaiba's back like a good little cubone should. "Thanks, Kaiba. I'll do my best to keep watch for any possible soft spots in this bog...that and anything that could work for a shelter."

...Catrina suggesting good food is something of an omen, he can't help but think. That probably means it's a bit serious... ...

Hmmm. "...You can keep an eye out for sinkholes too, right Catrina?"

She'd recognize that right?

Kaiba makes an annoyed growl, but otherwise does not argue with Catrina as she makes herself comfortable on his head--or as comfortable as one can with a big flat gold scale in the way. Then again, she's probably using it to brace herself, which is its own separate annoyance.

"Hmph. Eels or fish probably roam these waters in fair abundance. Finding shelter is of more importance at this point, before we worry about eating."

He waits for Emporio to settle, then begins to trudge through the swamp. For now, it remains no deeper than the tops of his ankles, but he has a feeling things won't remain so easy.

"Somehow," he adds flatly, "I don't find it surprising that you came from a swamp."

Obviously this is directed towards Catrina. Not that he's ignoring Emporio, but he's already acknowledged the Cubone's idea as the better course, and that should be enough acknowledgement in his mind.

Catrina huffs at that, clearly this dragon never once had an once of whimsy in his life as Catrina braces herself against that big ol' flat gold scale.

"Well yeah, grew up in a tropical swamp, just watch for potential gators, gators like this sort of shit." Catrina understood sink holes, those are the least of their worries. No, the real danger clearly was gonna be those massive reptiles that are so perfect in design that they barely evolved. Speaking of sinkholes..

"Oh shit, also lay on your back and hold your arms out if we do hit a sinkhole. It'll keep yah afloat and not sinking as fast."

Catrina can rest easy now that this particular info was shared...hopefully Emporio and Catrina combined can row Kaiba out of the sinkhole like a dragon shaped raft...

The fates better not pull this as Catrina goes to checking out the terrain better on top of Kaiba's head.

He honestly can't blame Kaiba for it. After all, the last time Emporio himself was in a situation that suddenly turned sideways- not that he intends to stop taking on these quests, though he sure won't say it aloud- there wasn't exactly any room for whimsy there either.

Now, Kaiba's joined to personally prevent tragedy, and here they are going 'sideways'.

Emporio grimaces somewhat at the instructions from Catrina. "Right. I'm...well, I'm at least pretty strong now, so I think if that happens we can get you back out. Hopefully we just don't step on one though..." Hopefully? Hopefully.

The cubone looks around, scanning the horizon and then the ground. "This fog is really thick...that's not going to help us much..."

Seto Kaiba's whimsy can probably be located in the lost and found of an orphanage, unfortunately. He sure doesn't have any of that now. But he isn't of the opinion that whimsy will help them now anyway, not in a situation in which he was carrying supplies that would hopefully last them through this terrible turn of events, as well as being made transportation mode for two tiny creatures, only one of which he felt was dependable in this situationi.

"Tch, I'm not worried about alligators, I'm a dragon," he answers back matter-of-factly. There's not even a valid argument to be made there, is there?

To the rest of what she suggested however, he merely gives a low hm of acknowledgement. Valid advice, he'll take it into account as he continues to walk through the swampy water. So far, there's been little depth change, for which he's grateful, but he still takes measured strides as he waits for that to likely change.

"Don't worry, I'm not foolish enough to lose my footing so easily, and the fog will fade soon enough. Weather is temporary and unlikely to stop us in our task."

As he says this, his foot dips lower, causing the water to rise to his haunches, and he lets out an annoyed huff as he acclimates to the depth.

Surely it couldn't get worse than this, right?

"Dude, yer like the size of a toddler meatbag larva and a gator is like three times your size...those fuckers barely even evolved due to how perfect they are as predators." Catrina offers this in argument to the dragon verses gator deal.

Catrina being lucid and giving valuable advice is...alarming to say the least. She just stays put on top of the Kaiba dragon, looking for slanting trees, slanting trees are bad news.

"Right...just watch for the slanting trees, that's like a huge indicator for a sinkhole...and when has the Bay EVER been normal in terms of weather? I'm waiting for it to break look the oobleck at any moment."

Good grief...Catrina still is holding it against the Grumpig Brothers over the dreamshare fiasco...

And yep, there goes Catrina clinging onto the big flat gold scale on Kaiba's head for dear life(?), narrowly avoiding being rocket launched into Arceus knows what.

Edited 2026-04-30 02:07 (UTC)

"That's assuming alligators exist here. I think even the fish we can eat are Pokemon," Emporio points out to Catrina.

But, not to be unfair, he also has to poke a hole in Kaiba's theories too. "....And that's assuming it's normal fog. The fog in the middle regions of Spectrunk never disappears after all."

...which. Hmm. He watches as Kaiba's feet sink somewhat, frowning.

"...We should probably make sure to keep talking with that in mind actually. ...Just...Just in case something does try to affect our perceptions the same way."

"On the contrary, I think everyone should shut up for 2 minutes so I can hear myself think without wondering why I'm out here in the first place," Kaiba answers sharply. Clearly he's not the conversational type, and although he has a high level of tolerance for actual children, Catrina is...

...well he actually doesn't know how old she is, but all the same, she strikes him as some rich kid who has no life experience, and it's very grating to a dubiously nouveau riche who does. More data is clearly needed, but not right now.

"Once I'm not wading in muck, maybe we can talk about whatever fog you're referring to," he adds, to be equitable.

It's...not equitable. But he's busy feeling things out with his talons to make sure he doesn't sink any deeper into the bog, give him a break!

Catrina decides to risk it and take a look at what good ol' Kaiba boy is wading in. Being a small candle with the maturity to match a middle schooler...Kaiba would be forgiven for mistaking this sideshow for a child at the very least.

For now though...

"Dude, you know, the fog? The one that's like surrounding us and the chocolate pudding, duh."

Clearly that's what this muck is, right??? Chocolate pudding is a naturally occurring element out in the wild! Totally edible and fine to dive into...

Emporio bites his tongue- clearly torn between immediacy and caution, as well as actually giving Kaiba some room to breathe. And think.

He ultimately lasts long enough to audibly groan a little at Catrina- This really isn't the time- before lowering his voice to something a little less dire and therefore perhaps a little more tolerable in the circumstance.

"...The fog of the woods erodes identity. That's why conversation becomes important," he says as calmly as he can. "If you're left alone with silence, it becomes easy for people to begin overlapping either with each other," the true horror: becoming Catrina, "Or with people who aren't even here."

...

It occurs to him that Catrina is moving- "Nope-" Emporio thus does the smart thing, and grabs molten wax. Not on his watch, buddy.

"Yes, I know he means this fog, it's the definition of the fog I'm--"

Kaiba has to resist the massive urge to shake his head out just to watch Catrina land in the murky drink. No. No, he's here to protect, not to harm. Protect. Protect!!

He mutters to himself ("Chocolate pudding, what an idiot.") as the "ear"-like whiskers on his head flick annoyedly.

"Great. So now, my punishment is to continue listening to all this chatter while you both cop a free ride--"

In the middle of his complaining, Kaiba finds that neither of his feet are moving now. It isn't for lack of trying though, he clearly tugs upward with his left, the muscles visibly flexing above the waterline.

...Only, it isn't water here, is it? The surface might be, but below is something far more dangerous.

"...Something's wrong."

It's not a sinkhole though. No, this is worse. But he's not going to panic, or panic his passengers. Not yet anyway.

Alas poor Catrina, the fates conspire against her and her need for the forbidden chocolate pudding (it's definitely for the best though). Emporio has gotten a good hold of that warmed peanut butter like texture that is Catrina and Kaiba listened to his conscious.

Downside, Catrina is listening to Emporio explain the fog better and actually looks horrified for a change of pace. "Well shit! I don't want to end up thinking I'm Kaiba or worse...Nurse Chansey..."

Yep, Catrina still has much fear and loathing towards the much exhausted Nurse Chansey, truly a form of divine punishment.

The sudden stop of movement manages to halt Catrina's mouth from saying something truly regrettable...shit, Kaiba walked into the forbidden chocolate pudding...didn't he? Oh boy...somewhat useful advice kicking in.

"Okay...remember when I said lay on your back if you get stuck in a sinkhole? That's the same shit too with the chocolate pudding, just lay on your back. Emporio, game for rowing Kaiba like a boat to solid ground?"

Emporio looks down- and for the time being, tunes Catrina out. She's definitely still 'Catrina', after all.

"...That's not something we can lay back in," he says stiffly, sniffing at the air as he peers down. "...Especially not when you're with us right now Catrina."

He can guess what this is. There's a unique odor to it, albeit one that's waterlogged.

Worried, he whispers- "...How well can you move your legs..?"

This is tar.

Catrina's Over the Top and Rancid April and May Catchall

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Suddenly Row your Boat is stuck in my head :x

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