Catrina's Over the Top and Rancid April and May Catchall

[gimmeeyeballs]

Who: Catrina and Anyone Unfortunate Enough to be Around her...

What: Catrina getting into no good tomfoolery and chaos...Mightyena please ground this candle..

When: Throughout April and May....Oh Arceus..

Where: The Bay, PARTS UNKNOWN, and more to be added as the months go on...

Warnings: Catrina being a walking CW of sorts, potential peril, and more to be added as the months go on...

Comments

[sharpjustice]

"No, no, no. Teeth are for eating, not fashion!" Mayaka says firmly.

She rolls her eyes at Catrina's description of cauliflower, but at least the Litwick isn't opposed to eating other types of veggies.

Mayaka glances at the next plot over, and finds a number of carrots that haven't been harvested yet.

"So, you'd eat those?" she points to them with one claw. Her other claw is using a watering can to water the caulifowers, as per Ume's instructions.

[gimmeeyeballs]

"They can be for both! There's the folks that get their teeth tattoo'ed for fashion and aesthetics~" Catrina actually was correct for a change...there are folks that do in fact get their teeth tattooed...

Catrina will have to make a point of things by roasting cauliflower then for Mayaka to smell...truly it is the fart plant and will not be dodging the allegations anytime soon.

Oh but yes, there are other veggies Catrina can definitely will eat, but for now...

"Yeah I'd eat Jimmy and Bob the carrots in a stew with Steward the yam and Oscar Onion chopped in there."

[sharpjustice]

".... Did you just give them names?"

[gimmeeyeballs]

"Yes, yes I did~"

[sharpjustice]

"Isn't it messed up to give them names when you're going to eat them?"

She is standing with a basket next to the carrots now, wondering if she should harvest them.

[gimmeeyeballs]

"Not really, most people name their cattle that's going to on the plate in the future. It brings good luck."

...Catrina that's absolutely terrible reasoning for naming the veggies...

[sharpjustice]

"So morbid..." Mayaka mumbles, before deciding to change trajectory.

"Now that you've named them, I guess that means you're responsible for taking these carrots home to eat, right, Cat-chan?" The Sneasel gives her a toothy (non-metal) grin.

[gimmeeyeballs]

"Wonderfully morbid, isn't it?" Ah okay, fine, changing the topic as Catrina puffs her cheeks(?) a bit.

"Well yeah, but I'm not paying the child support for the carrots before I get to eat 'em in a stew." Catrina was impressed by Mayaka's teeth though, definitely could use the metal. Maybe one day, Catrina will convince Mayaka to embrace the fashionable teeth trend? Catrina will definitely fail at this...

[sharpjustice]

"Then come help me harvest them!"

Mayaka grabs onto the leafy top of a carrot and tugs. It doesn't budge from its spot in the earth. Either its roots are deep, or she's just that weak.

[gimmeeyeballs]

"Well shit, hang on, I'll help you with a bit of backbone in pulling 'em out." Catrina...you don't even have a skeletal structure...Oh well that candle is sauntering over to Mayaka to help pull out carrots.

This should be easy..right? Catrina grips onto the leafy steam and goes to pull hard at it. Will it liberate the carrot from Mother Earth?!

[sharpjustice]

Nope. The carrot stays in place.

Mayaka eyes it suspiciously, before shifting attention to the carrot next to it. This one, she pulls out from the ground easily.

"Something is weird about that one," she says as she chucks the freed carrot into the basket.

[gimmeeyeballs]

That carrot mocks Catrina as she glares at it. Yep, that's it, Catrina has declared war upon the root vegetable as Catrina goes back to pulling at it harder.

"I WILL CONQUER THIS CARROT COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!" Catrina roared a bit the best a tiny candle can do in dentures.

Catrina is tuning out Mayaka for the moment as she goes straight into attacking the carrot....

[sharpjustice]

"Wha- hey! Quit messing around!" Mayaka says, putting her claws on her hips.

Now that Catrina's all fired up, she should manage to pull the carrot an inch out of place --- only for it to yank itself back into the earth, tugging Catrina downwards with the counteraction.

[gimmeeyeballs]

"Tell that to the thief! They're trying to kidnap Carol Carrot here!" Catrina shoots back as she goes into full tug of war mode with whoever is trying to take the carrot from the wretched candle.

The pulls from Catrina increases a bit and good grief, she's preparing to get into a battle with whoever is underground over the root vegetable...

[sharpjustice]

"Thief?"

Mayaka approaches the plot and starts digging up the soil, dislodging the carrot further, and revealing the bone-white claws of the culprit gripping onto the other end of the carrot.

"Ah!" The Sneasel staggers back in shock.

The culprit is still not willing to let go of the carrot. Mayaka steels herself before going back into the plot to clear more of the soil.... to reveal a tiny Sandshrew which had dug its way underground to access the roots of the crops.

[gimmeeyeballs]

Catrina stares blankly at the tiny Sandshrew...like what the hell dude, stealing from a garden? Well...at least the Sandshrew was wise enough not to rob the skeletons that Catrina hoards like a dragon. The ground mouse-madillo is spared...for now.

"...Shit you're small."

Catrina has literally no legs to stand on with that statement being small herself....

[sharpjustice]

"Grrr... mine...!" Sandshrew stares directly at Catrina, holding onto the carrot like he's in a vicious tug of war.

The two of them are pretty much the same size, which explains why there's no clear winner yet.

"Its just a kid," Mayaka observes from the sidelines. "Maybe he was hungry and doesn't know this belongs to Ume-kun's garden."

[gimmeeyeballs]

Great...someone let their meatbag larva run loose. Oh well, this just means Catrina gets to default to her basic mode when dealing with unattended children...teach them how to swear.

"If you want the carrot, you gotta tell me to piss off first and then you can have it."

Catrina NO!!! ...Okay maybe that isn't the worst curse word to teach a small child..maybe...Catrina is definitely gonna get an earful from the parents soon.

1/2

[sharpjustice]

Catrina's going to get an earful from Mayaka first.

"What did you just say, Cat-chan?! You can't be teaching kids to say these kinds of things! They're impressionable and they'll remember whatever adults tell them! Just because you can talk however you want doesn't mean you should! Don't go being a bad influence on those younger than you! And just look at him, he doesn't know any better. You're the adult here so you should be setting a good example!"

A continuous stream of words rains down on the Litwick, with no pause in between for Catrina to get a word in.

When Mayaka finally stops, she turns to the little Sandshrew and explains, "If you want something, the polite thing to say is 'please'."

The kid blinks up at both of them, before resuming the carrot tug of war and shouting.

"..p....PLEASE PISS OFF!!"

2/2

[sharpjustice]

...

...

Mayaka closes her eyes, looking deeply ashamed.

[gimmeeyeballs]

"See? Now you can have the carrot since you did say 'Piss Off' and 'Please' both at the same time." Catrina lets the tiniest Sandshrew take the carrot as a reward.

No morals or lessons were learned that day, as Catrina did succeed in teaching the much more impressionable child in saying a curse word. The parents have only themselves to blame for letting their small progeny run loose without supervision.

"Beside, Mayaka, teaching kiddo to curse early on helps with broadening their vocabulary early on, it's a proven scientific fact." The scary thing is...Catrina was right. Knowing your curse words does in fact helps with knowing a broader range of vocabulary. It's weird but true.....

[sharpjustice]

"They don't need a broad vocabulary at this age," Mayaka counters.

The kid has already scurried off with its prize, leaving them with a gaping hole in the field where the Sandshrew had crawled out from. She quickly starts filling the hole, looking around to check that Umemiya hasn't noticed that they've made a mess here.

[gimmeeyeballs]

"Mayaka, teaching swears is normal at an early age, especially before entering kindergarten. Otherwise, they'll learn the wrong way to curse people out by their peers." Catrina goes to return case in point.

Catrina just watches the kid scurry off with that carrot prize, weird prize to be won, but it's still a prize. Yep, not gonna mention a thing to Umemiya like at all...Catrina's lips are sealed for a change.

[sharpjustice]

"Huh??? No, it's not!" Mayaka furrows her brow.

"At least, not where I come from," she quickly adds. Is it a culture difference?

No. This is probably just Catrina.

"Does it look fine?"

She's done patching up the hole and stands back, tilting her head back and forth to check if the field looks normal now.

[gimmeeyeballs]

Catrina looks over to Mayaka's attempt at covering up the crime scene.

Those orb marble eyes squint a bit in judging the execution of the cover up.

Hmmmmm....

"I give it a seven out of ten for your first time crime cover up. Good job."

The candle was very impressed with Mayaka's first cover up job.