Flowey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
friendlyflower) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bottlecaplogs2025-07-05 03:44 pm
friendlyflower) wrote in bottlecaplogs2025-07-05 03:44 pm
July Catch-All
Who: Flowey & Firepaw, Emporio, Lusamine, and others?
What: Quests (Learning Aides, Growing Harvest), maybe some meetings/interactions
Where: Southern forest, the city gardens, around the city
When: Throughout July
Warnings: Pokemon battling (violence/injury), Flowey's trauma (mentions of/themes of depression, depersonalization, guilt, child death, murder)
What: Quests (Learning Aides, Growing Harvest), maybe some meetings/interactions
Where: Southern forest, the city gardens, around the city
When: Throughout July
Warnings: Pokemon battling (violence/injury), Flowey's trauma (mentions of/themes of depression, depersonalization, guilt, child death, murder)
no subject
It does make him feel bad, about how upset he's been with Flowey. Even if he's not entirely sure it's unjustified. It's.... hard to tell, with how little he understands this conversation, whether he should reconsider or not - but he doesn't like the idea of hating someone just because he doesn't understand why they're doing things.
But Emporio is also saying a lot of things he doesn't understand, and he does manage to connect that with the knowledge that all of Emporio's friends are dead. And the fact that he still doesn't know what happens to humans when they die, if they get some version of StarClan or if they just disappear. So before anything else, he presses his body against Emporio's a little more insistantly and starts licking his face, purring loudly the whole time.]
I'm sure it made sense for you, at the time. Doing what you did.
[No he isn't, he's fully grasping at straws. But he does want to believe Flowey is a good person.]
I don't understand it. I don't understand you. But I don't hate you, either. Not everyone has a warrior code to follow, and... I'm sure it's difficult making decisions without anyone else to guide you.
[He doesn't bring it up in as many words, but he might be talking about the fact that he kills other Pokemon for food. It took a few months for him to decide he couldn't live on people food indefinitely, and he still doesn't feel completely guilt-free about it.]
no subject
Their words still resonate with him. "You're still here." He is-- he's always been too stubborn to die.
And, "I'm sure it's difficult making decisions without anyone else to guide you" is enough to make him start to tear up. It reminds him of the burden of living in a world without love, but also without Chara.]
... Sorry, Emporio. [He can't do much to comfort him. He lets Emporio bandage him up if he wants to, at least.] And you're still here, too.
[He focuses on Firepaw. He wants to just leave it at that, but it doesn't feel right if he doesn't understand.]
I'm, uh, never sure how much stuff is different from other worlds. Basically, what I'm trying to say is... I used to be able to feel love and care and happiness and all that crap. But then I died and came back. I didn't have the thing that made me me anymore. I couldn't feel anything. Imagine if you could eat, but you couldn't taste or feel full anymore.
And, 'resetting'... it's like if you went to bed tonight, and when you woke up, it was the morning of the same day you just lived through. The hunts you completed, the things you said to the other cats, they were all undone. And it was like that again and again, forever. [He realizes he probably sounds condescending. He doesn't know how to do any better.]
The point is... even if I am still here, I'm not the good person I used to be. I never can be that person again.
But even then, I want to try and do the right thing. Even though it's hard and it sucks and I just kind of want to leave forever or die or something. [It's an empty threat; he's still too scared to die.]
And although I don't feel anything... I don't want you to be upset or mad at me, either. Either of you. It's not 'care', but... [He doesn't know. He trails off without finishing the sentence.]
no subject
He's the sort who can't help but 'compare'. It's why he brought up what he did. It's why he thought of it at all.
It's why he thought of a man who could tear things out of a person so fundementally, they simply ceased functioning.
(Or in the case of one, almost.)
But somehow his mind had glazed over the idea of...
Resetting. Perhaps because only one noticed. Perhaps because he didn't want to hear it.
He's still shaking.
(It's laughable really. It isn't the same thing at all. It happened only once.)
(He probably understood more than 20%)
He's not sure when he moves, but his arms are around Flowey. Still shaking. Just slightly. But the hug is at least careful, even if the hug of someone in shock.]
Th...th...
[If he says what he's thinking though...
....what if Flowey compares himself to the villain in his story, instead?
...something else then.
Finish the first story.]
The man took someone's memories, but they didn't die. Th...They forgot how to do everything and they didn't die. I never knew what they were like. I'll never know what they were like. I didn't meet that person.
[. . .]
...I'll never know this you, you talked about.
...I met 'you'.
[. . .]
I'm...I'm glad I met you.
no subject
He backs up a step to give them space, and glances over at Tinkaton for some level of guidance. And gets... none, since she's very busy reviewing her notes. StarClan, he's so lost.]
If you want to care about us, I don't think that's very different from caring. I'm... sorry about telling you to eat crow-food.
[His words are slow and carefully weighed - a rarity from him, but he's still organizing his thoughts in real time while he speaks.]
Maybe... some other day we can walk around the city and you can explain more of this to me? Right now, I should probably try to find a way home.
[Really, it's just the jock instincts taking over. Confusion and vulnerability feel bad, he has no idea how to help, but he can go climb a tree, which is helpful in a more immediate way.]
no subject
... thanks. Both of you. [His voice is very, very small.] Yeah. Let's... let's get home.
no subject
...But. Yes. Well, Tinkaton certainly seems to be giving a look that says she, too, is eager to leave so...]
Y..yeah. ...We should get back. Let's get you to the clinic, [he adds seriously, nodding to...well, really both of them. Flowey's had it worse, but both him and Firepaw could use a trip.]
no subject
Lucky for them, the journey back will be a lot easier between Firepaw and Emporio's experience and Tinkaton's new notes. And on the way Firepaw will try to keep the conversation much lighter, just to give them all a break.]