[Closed] Zangooseo and Seviperette

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[Closed] Zangooseo and Seviperette

Who: Flowey + Catrina
What: Escorting Zangoose from Skull Town to Bottlecap Bay
Where: The road between Skull Town & Bottlecap Bay
When: Early January
Warnings: Canon-typical Pokemon violence, two edgelords telling each other "exactlyyy"

Wherefore art thou?

"You sure picked a great time to travel, buddy," Flowey grumbles. He's wearing his new flame-pattern beanie, which sure stands out in the snow he's languidly hopping through.

Zangoose seems less perturbed, maybe thanks to their thick coat of fur. The client has been remarkably patient with Team Burning Despair (note: not actually an official team), though they seem to just be a patient type.

Although the path between the towns has been becoming well-trodden by the day, it's still not exactly paved and lit up or anything. Once they reach the border of the North Forest, Flowey stares Zangoose down-- something that would look much cooler if he didn't have to look up to meet their eyes. "Stay behind me and in front of Catrina. And don't do anything STUPID, alright?"

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"Seriously buddy, this is the shittiest time to pick to travel."

Catrina, being the grand high lady of laziness, has been using her flame to melt a path in the snow. Good thing about being wax(?), she's no longer cold blooded (or even warm blooded...)! So no slowing metabolism or deciding 'oh hey it's cold, I must sleep in the snow' reactions.

Upside to having to lead the weird cat-bear(?) thing to their potential snake spouse was getting to hang out with Flowey. Downside, this Zangoose is like old people levels of slow in walking in Catrina's point of view (Cat...they're like walking in a good pace..)

"Hey Flowey, think I can like float the client to speed up the walk time?"

"That's a wonderful idea!"

"That's not exactly an amazing idea," Zangoose says, poking their claws together. "I'd really prefer you didn't."

"Boooring." Flowey rolls his eyes.

"Damn, Zangoose here is a party pooper! No fun with this Pokemon, no fun at all! They get to be in the nerd jail for the rest of the journey."

Catrina...that's not how escort service works...CATRINA...Nope she's gonna be immature and shame the Zangoose for being boring and a nerd, the worst possible crime ever.

"Hey Flowey, how much further till we reach town with Boring Nerd?"

"A while. We still have to get through this stupid forest with Zangoof over here."

Zangoose, demonstrating remarkable patience, doesn't take the bait. They do look up as it starts to hail. "Maybe we should take cover?"

Normally, Flowey would think this is a reasonable suggestion. However, he is now stubbornly wanting to do the opposite of whatever Zangoose says. "You're the one who wanted to travel in the dead of Winter, buddy."

"Sorry Tundra Farts, but yah did choose to travel in horrible winter conditions! Suck it up and carry on!"

Catrina had the benefits of being a candle..on fire...she's managing stupidly well in these conditions somehow. The power of spiting the Zangoose was strong at the moment as she followed with Flowey's lead.

Sorry Zangoose, you did choose to travel in winter with these two edge lords...

As they continue to travel, the wind gets stronger and the hail gets worse. Flowey starts to wonder what would happen of Catrina's flame were to blow out entirely.

Zangoose carries on, relying on their thick Winter coat. Flowey isn't so lucky. Maybe the others turned their back on him for a moment, but the next time they look, he's completely frozen solid!

The clapping of Catrina's brain cells upon seeing Flowey completely frozen should alarm Zangoose. It was exactly like the fabled moving drawings Catrina had seen about before...just it ended up happening to her fellow edgelord. Wait a minute...flame hair....? OH RIGHT THAT CAN WORK!

"Oh shit...Tundra Fart, we have to stop! Hang on Flowey, I'll save yah from being a popsicle!"

Catrina goes to bounce over the best a Litwick in snow can do before reaching the ice encased Flowey. She goes to increase the flame on her head (...this might be a bad thing for all involved..) in an attempt to try melting Flowey out.

The good news: the flame is enough to melt Flowey out.

The bad news: the flame quickly dries any residual water on him and lights him on fire.

Flowey screams like a banshee and rolls around in the snow to put himself out, which almost freezes him again. Eventually, Zangoose speaks up. "Maybe a campfire...? Or finding shelter...?"

Catrina looks at Zangoose and then back at the half frozen-half burnt Flowey, there's a look in Catrina's face as her mouth opens up:

"The fuck is wrong with you Tundra Fart!? Flowey was on fire and almost froze again!"

Catrina...honey? Shelter is a good point though...Catrina? Yeah no nothing is getting through to Catrina as she makes sure the fire is completely out on Flowey as well as not freezing again.

By the time the fire is out, Flowey is still half-frozen and singed and miserable. He manages to say, his voice broken: "Just lift us with your mind already. Put it to good use instead of trying to kill me!"

Well that was nearly the secondary 'oops' homicide to add to Catrina's concerning collection as she looks at the misery Flowey is in. She doesn't hesitate in levitating both Zangoose and Flowey with Psychic before continuing the march forward.

"Sure thing boss, let's just get our asses to town."

It sure feels strange to be levitated like one of those snowballs she threw. He feels uneasy at first, not having any control over himself, but he decides to take a cue from Zangoose and just accept his fate. Better than being frozen in a block of ice.

"Wish I could lift stuff with my mind." Some people have all the luck.

"Hey you never know, December gave a lot of weird shit to people like moves they couldn't learn before or like me getting Plague Bird back. Maybe you'll be able to learn it too and use it to terrorize the stuffy ass Ribombee?"

Catrina...Catrina is right now focused on getting their asses to the town and maybe catapulting Zangoose to the ocean...a candle can dream!

"I forgot to tell you! Check out what I can do now!"

Flowey uses his new gift to shapeshift his face to a bunch of downright horrible, weird, and disgusting expressions. Although he's still a Sunkern and thus has a hard shell, it's almost like his face is made of putty now or something. He settles on one with rows of shark teeth, swirling black eyes, and a tongue hanging out for good measure.

"What do you think? Hee hee hee..."

(Zangoose does not look comfortable.)

[ Zangoose can shove it with the pearl clutching, this was the shit as Catrina is amused by that expression shapeshifting Flowey can do now! ]

Holy crap that's badass! That's the coolest ability anyone could've gotten from those sparkling weirdoes.

[ Yep...Catrina is sold on it, sorry Plague Bird, you're now in the corner of the cave buddy. ]

Incredible, isn't it? [He gives a big, toothy grin. Do Sunkern even have teeth? This one does!] And I can do some good impressions, too!

[He does his best to mimic Catrina's face and voice.] 'Eat it, Tundra Farts!'

[ Woah that was pretty accurate to what Catrina looks and sounds like! TAKE THAT TUNDRA FART, YOU'RE IN FOR A HACKLING! ]

Damn that's good and lucky you got teeth! Been thinking about seeing if I can stick some pebbles in my mouth for teeth.

[ Catrina was dead serious about the pebble teeth...this sideshow that eats pinecones wants that enticing teeth promotion. ]

... Or maybe you could get some 'donors'!

[At this point, Zangoose starts shaking its head rapidly.]

Hot damn, that's true! I could get 'donors' for some teeth. You know any Pokemon with super sharp teeth?

[ That damn Litwick is eying Zangoose in consideration. Zangoose sure does have some sharp looking teeth there..potential donor? ]

[That horrible, toothy grin slowly spreads across his face as he looks to Zangoose, who is shaking its head even more rapidly now.]

Oh, come on, pal! You're not using all of them, are you?

Yeah Tundra Fart, don't be greedy with the teeth there! I'm sure you have plenty to spare to give!

[ Catrina joins in with Flowey with terrorizing poor Zangoose for their teeth...this escort mission is slowly turning into a rescue mission for poor Zangoose...oh dear. ]

["M-my friend, Seviper, can give you teeth! They shed them all the time!" Zangoose says.]

"Woah, really? Can we get a skin, too?" Flowey's so pleased that he drops the evil face. "Hey, Catrina, maybe you can get some venomous fangs!"

"Sweet! Venomous fangs and shed skin? I'm sold, you have a deal Tundra Fart!" Catrina's eyes light up like holiday lights at the idea...she is entirely onboard with Zangoose throwing Seviper under the train. Plus...the mental image of Catrina sporting venomous fangs like vampire fangs is a huge selling point for the candle.

"What should we make with the shed skin?"

"Sleeping bag?" Flowey suggests. "We could take turns crawling into it!"

Zangoose weakly protests that they didn't promise a shed skin, but Flowey isn't listening at this point.

"I love that idea, let's do it!" Snake shed sleeping bag? Count Catrina in, after all, she sleeps inside of a skull. Needs to add more to her edge energy with Flowey.

Sorry Zangoose, Catrina isn't listening either. Zangoose will likely have a lot to explain to Serviper once they're in town. They owe a couple of things to two edge lords.

Flowey does not sleep inside a skull, but he does have a skull in his room. It's one of his favorite things along with the decorations Catrina gave him for Christmas.

"You're going to look sick with some new fangs! Say, does your Pokemon type evolve?" He still doesn't know how evolution really works. He heard Sunkern can evolve, but it hasn't happened yet, unfortunately for him.

"You know, I have no idea what or how I'd evolve, but I hope it means I get to still keep my sick fangs." Catrina ponders this for a bit, figuring that Litwick would evolve into some sort of Hedorah looking monster.

Poor Catrina has no clue about Lampent just yet...oh well that means she gets to have a fun DIY day with Flowey attaching teeth onto a Lampent face.

Edited (Autocorrect attacked :x) 2026-02-13 03:48 (UTC)

"I'm hoping this stupid seed form will all be worth it. Maybe I'll become a carnivorous plant with thorns and teeth and acid and all sorts of gross stuff! Hee hee."

He's going to be so, so disappointed by Sunflora.

"Dude that'd be sick, a carnivorous plant would be such a sweet ass evolution to have, especially the acid, thorns, and teeth!"

To be fair, Catrina would be upset with Lampent too...maybe they'll give each other edgy makeovers when their evolution happens?

Now he's envisioning Catrina as some kind of fire monster with venomous fangs and himself as a sprawling carnivorous plant. They'll have to settle for the edgy makeovers.

While they're talking, they finally reach town. Zangoose rushes forward and embraces Seviper, who was waiting.

"Don't forget about the shed skin and the spare teeth!"

Seviper gives Zangoose a strange look. This wasn't in the Guild contract. "It's not like you're using them once you shed them, right? My pal here needs a nice set of chompers!"

"Yeah man, I need some chompers!" Catrina goes to demonstrate the criminal lack of teeth in her unfortunate candle form. Clearly Catrina deserves some venomous fangs to make up for it.

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[Closed] Zangooseo and Seviperette

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Oh my Arceus that Icon XD

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1/2

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worst quest ever for zangoose XD

Zangoose is likely regretting this quest big time XD

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The mental image of a Sunflora being given the Hot Topic makeover is strong right now :x

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Here we go, this is my wrap post X3 This has been a hilarious thread