mist on the grass

[offtracks]

Who: Ingo and Emmet
What: Exploration of the Middle Forest
When: Late April
Where: Middle Forest
Warnings: Hallucinations, dissociation, minor injury

[The middle forest, much like the time they explored the northern end, is blanketed with fog almost as soon as they enter the shadows of the trees. Ingo ignites his flames, as usual, but it's little use. Purple light refracts off the thick mist, as well as the faint red glow of Emmet's eyes and markings.

It's a little spooky. Ingo tries to keep his eyes off them. Telling Emmet about his experiences with Zoroark was probably, overall, a good thing to do. He's not longer lying to him, even if only by omission. But it probably makes some of his less-than-kind responses a little more obvious...]

I am sure any marks we leave will simply change again, but we could make an attempt anyhow.

[Today's another scouting mission, more than anything. Ingo's more relaxed about that than about rescue missions, but their strange experience in the forest last time still has him keeping a sharp eye out, as well as he can.]

Comments

[outbounds]

But I am not—

[ His jaw snaps closed. That... shuts him up, actually.

What he has been doing, he thought, was not putting the burden of dealing with a stranger's feelings on Ingo. His feelings aren't... unimportant? Just ... something for him to work through on his own, without burdening others unnecessarily with them. What he has been doing, he thought, was sketching out, to the best of his ability, the shape of what once was from his side, letting Ingo follow along at his own pace and decide for himself whether it's anything he wants any part of.

What he has been doing, he thought, was not dwelling unnecessarily on things that nothing can be done about. Is he really doing such a bad job at it that Ingo thinks it's ... all just forced? Is he just putting on a brave face? He doesn't think he's been acting all that different from normal.

(What he does, what he says...) ]

I am... not sure I remember how not to.

[ Maybe there's a reason Emmet's a Zoroark after all. ]

[offtracks]

...oh.

[Ingo hesitates, unsure at the admission. He hadn't thought Emmet would...respond for real.]

I'm - sorry.

[It's halting. He doesn't even mean to say it. He's really thinking: don't you have any friends? Was Ingo Emmet's only support? Surely not?]

[outbounds]

[ Of course he does. Of course Emmet had support. That's why he's as functional as he is. That's why he got tired of worrying them. That's why he got tired of the sympathies, the condolences, the treating him like he's something fragile, ready to break down or shatter if handled wrong. Maybe that's unfair to them, when they were only doing their bests. Is Emmet a bad person for only being able to handle so many platitudes and reminders before wanting something resembling normalcy? Never mind that things are anything but—

It's easy to escape into work. Routines and rhythms and schedules. The world didn't stop for Emmet, and why would it? It is so much bigger than him. So he moved forward along with it. Just not on, because that was giving up, and he likes winning more than anything else. He kept everything going, everything running, one way or another, pulled himself together enough to return to his regular duties and offer his regular staff, his challengers, friends and family a smile as the ever-constant Subway Boss Emmet. Same as ever. (What he does, what he says...) Isn't that enough?

(Does Emmet remember who Emmet is, beyond all the rituals and routines he's held himself to?) ]

What are you even apologizing for?

[offtracks]

Well - I suppose what happened is not my fault, but that does not mean that it was not still...because of me.

[Logically, he's well aware that there's nothing he could have done. He's sure he didn't choose to get flung several hundred years back in time or lose his memories. Once he was there, that was it. Even if he had regained his memories properly, Ingo cannot just simply travel back to the future. Nowadays he might be able to petition Dialga, but he's not sure that's the kind of favor the legendary Pokemon would be able or willing to grant.

Absolutely none of that stops him from feeling guilt.

Anticipating some kind of retort, he's quick to add:]

And anyhow, I am expressing sympathy!

[outbounds]

[ Ingo's expecting correctly, Emmet's mouth snapping shut for the second time in as many minutes as Ingo cuts off whatever it was Emmet was about to say. Instead his expression levels out a bit, corners of his mouth pulling flat as he cranes his head to glance over at Ingo instead of at the far wall.

Eventually, he lowers his head, shaking silently for the span of a few long moments. It takes a bit before the sound of his near-noiseless, huffed pants reveals itself to be quiet, wry laughter. Stupid, stubborn, determined to get his point across brother.

(See? The important things are the same.) ]

Okay. I guess I cannot stop you from doing that.

[offtracks]

Emmet...?

[Ingo's initially alarmed! He can't tell it's laughter at all! He lurches to his feet, only to awkwardly sit back down when the rise in volume makes things a little more clear.

Except. They still aren't that clear. What does any of that mean?]

Oh, ah. Okay.

[outbounds]

[ Just give him a moment to compose himself. Emmet does try to raise a paw to wave it offhandedly, maybe a not quite so universal 'don't worry about it,' quite literally waving it off. ]

It's ... it is fine. I am not just saying that.

[ There, he's good, he's fine, he can hold a conversation. Emmet lets the rest of that energy guide him into a brief shake of his head and upper body to release it. ]

Fine. It is because of you. It is nothing you can do anything about. These things can both be true. If you find a way to feel bad about yourself about this I will be verrrrry cross with you. See if I ever tell you anything again.

[ That's only a mock threat, really. Emmet realizes there's no point in closing the gates after the Zebstrika's already bolted. Purrloins out of bags and all that. They do need to talk about these things probably, even if it's conversations they might not like. ]

I was just thinking. [ It's such a small, stupid thing. An echo of pointless bickering over nothing. ] You remember more than you think. You know.

[offtracks]

...what makes you think that?

[Ingo can't see how that could be the case! He hasn't remembered anything since he arrived here, not even anything small! That said, he's still a little too wary to directly contradict it; he's not sure what that laughing fit was about, and he's not sure how one could possibly not feel bad about any of that.]

[outbounds]

The little things. Nothing big or obvious, maybe.

[ Emmet isn't eloquent enough for this. ]

But I think you are too polite to cut off a stranger like that. Especially before he's had a chance to say something.

[ Unless Ingo just really really didn't want Emmet to not get a word in edgewise there. Coincidental, then, that it lines up with old patterns. ]

[offtracks]

...oh. I do apologize!

[He did do that, didn't he? Ingo hadn't even noticed!]

[outbounds]

No, no. Don't apologize. Or, well. You can. But you don't have to.

Means you aren't. A stranger, I mean. You remember, even if you don't.